Met Objectives Comic Strips - Page 8

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78 Results for Met Objectives

View 71 - 78 results for met objectives comic strips. Discover the best "Met Objectives" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #introductions, #name recall, #memory, #remember imporatance, #forgetful, #insignificant

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Randy: Hey, Dilbert. We met last week. Dilbert: We did? I only try to remember things that might be important. Everything else I flush. Randy: My name is Randy. Dilbert: *flush*

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #blackmail, #morality, #morals, #angel investor, #pantless, #drunk, #photos, #phone camera, #million dollar seed investment, #tie score

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Alice: I met with that angel investor at his house and he answered the door pantsless and drunk. So I snapped a few photos with my phone and secured a million-dollar seed investment. Was that wrong? Dilbert: Let's call it a tie.

Asok Meets His Equal

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Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #accuse, #label, #racist, #sexist, #negotiation, #clever, #outsmart, #money, #salary

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Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

New Website Developer

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New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology

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Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

Breaking Up With Robot

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Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty, #relationships, #technology

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Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #headphones, #borrow, #ears, #reluctant, #smell forever

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Wally: May I borrow your headphones while you're at lunch? Dilbert: would they touch your ears? WALLY: Yes. Dilbert:I reject your request. I don't want cooties on my headphones. Dilbert: Plus, you never return anything you borrow. Wally: Why would you care if my ears touch something you will neve see again? Lets meet halfway. I'll return the headphones, but they will smell of me forever. Dilbert: Then you might as well just keep them! It doesnt feel like he met me halfway.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister

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Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?

Criminal Does Tech Support

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Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

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Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?