Name Someone Lese Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

624 Results for Name Someone Lese

View 71 - 80 results for name someone lese comic strips. Discover the best "Name Someone Lese" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smart garbageman, #again soul, #someone less fortunate, #flowers on grave, #grave speaks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The world's smartest garbage man says I need to help someone less fortunate to regain my soul. Ratbert: Don't look at me. I'm happier than a tickled clam. Dilbert: I brought you some flowers, dead person. Dead person: I don't need 'em I'm good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #bed news, #upset, #hire someone, #hates boss, #set up, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview The Boss says, "Would you tell me bad news even if you knew it would upset me?" A man says, "Yes, I would." The Boss says, "Why would I hire someone who hates me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vp of finance, #secret offshore bank, #forgot account number, #password, #name of country, #not so good

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #headset, #marketing research, #social security number, #bank pin, #maiden name, #poverty, #identity theft, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burden to people, #dutch sandwhich, #less appealing name, #tax attorneys, #transfer tax, #taxes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call "the dutch sandwich" and Im not vice making that up. So...that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys. Dogbert: yeah....their sandwich has a less appealing name.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #introductions, #erin, #sue boysenberry, #resume, #shrink, #prescribe pills, #be strong, #self employed

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "Please introduce yourself by saying your name and who you work for." A woman says, "My name is Erin and I work for Sue Boysenberry." The man says, "Wow, lucky. I hear she's great." Another man says, "Can you give her my resume?" One Minute Later The second man says, "I'm so sorry for you." Another woman says, "You must cry a lot." The second man says, "If you ever need to talk to someone, I know a good shrink." The second man says, "He can prescribe pills that will make you feel self-employed." The second woman says, "Be strong. We'll all pray for you." The first man says, "Next."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #defense, #security, #workstation, #logged in, #netowrk, #teach someone a lesson, #activating defensive wedgie system, #violated perimeter, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: This workstation is still logged in to the network. It's time to teach someone a lesson about security. I'll just go in here and... Computer: WARNING! WARNING! IDIOT ALERT! The boss: GAAA! Computer: ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE WEDGIE SYSTEM.Dilbert: I have to go. Some idiot violated my perimeter. The boss: Please make it stop. Dilbert: Then how would you learn?