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Wally asks Dilbert, "How's the new guy doing?" Dilbert replies, "He's extremely productive." Dilbert says as they watch a man at a desk wildly tossing documents over his shoulder, "We think he's one of those bureaucracy savants."
A man in a robe points to a well and says to Dilbert, "When you work in marketing, you use the research well to test new ideas." The man continues, "Any day but Friday you can shout your question into the well and an answer will come back." Dilbert asks, "Why not Friday?" Someone inside the well replies, "Friday is your day in the well."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."
A woman hands Dilbert a baby and says, "Everybody in the office gets a turn holding my new baby." Ted says, "Next." Dilbert holds the baby and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes. Dilbert looks at the baby and says, "Ooh! Look what he does when you sneeze on him." Ted says, "He looks like a prune!" The mother looks shocked.
Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"
Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"
A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"
Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."