Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.
Boss: Did you finish the product redesign?
Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product.
Boss: I don't want any excuses!
Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything.
Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures.
Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do.
Boss: You're not doing it right.
Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?