Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 8
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122 Results for Obliviousness
View 71 - 80 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 09,
2016
Engineer Touches Spreadsheet
Tags numbers, budget, obliviousness, approval, disease, contagious, managers, executives, accuracy, fantasy
Transcript
CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 26,
2016
Meetings Are Dense
Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.
Tuesday March 08,
2016
Try Not Being Boring
Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business
Transcript
CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.
Wednesday March 09,
2016
Fifty Slide Presentation
Tags managers, tasks, presentation, expectation, unrealistic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.
Thursday March 10,
2016
Asok Negotiates With Boss
Tags compensation, haggle, money, negotiating, negotiation, obliviousness, salary, trick, eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!
Friday April 01,
2016
Random Number Generator
Tags projection, money, prediction, unrealistic expectations, numbers, obliviousness, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.
Tuesday April 12,
2016
Change To Bad Design
Friday April 15,
2016
Intuitive Not Worthless
Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding
Transcript
Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.
Thursday June 30,
2016
Wally's Email Makes No Sense
Tags bot, deception, laziness, work ethic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.
Monday August 08,
2016
Boss Gets A Nickname
Tags scientist, nickname, obliviousness, stephen hawking, black holes, space, science
Transcript
Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.

