Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 8

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122 Results for Obliviousness

View 71 - 80 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, budget, obliviousness, approval, disease, contagious, managers, executives, accuracy, fantasy

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CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

Fifty Slide Presentation

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Fifty Slide Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, tasks, presentation, expectation, unrealistic, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compensation, haggle, money, negotiating, negotiation, obliviousness, salary, trick, eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Random Number Generator

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Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projection, money, prediction, unrealistic expectations, numbers, obliviousness, guest artist, donna oatney

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Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Change To Bad Design

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Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags link, traffic, design, color, Opinion, obliviousness

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Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

Intuitive Not Worthless

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Intuitive Not Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

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Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bot, deception, laziness, work ethic, obliviousness

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Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

Boss Gets A Nickname

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Boss Gets A Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scientist, nickname, obliviousness, stephen hawking, black holes, space, science

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Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.