One Objective Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for One Objective
View 71 - 80 results for one objective comic strips. Discover the best "One Objective" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 30,
1999
Tags concludes one hour course, pick up diploma, laser printer, fill in name, prestigious, dont discuss
Transcript
Dogbert stands with his back to a blackboard where the following is written: "Be Boring, $=Good, Remember to embezzle!" Dogbert says while holding the pointer in his hand: "This concludes your one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert points out to a printer with his pointer and says: "On your way out, pick up a diploma from the laser printer and fill in your name." Dogbert says: "Remember, your degree can be prestigious if none of you ever discuss what happened here."
Sunday August 30,
1998
Tags document prcedures, requirement, engineers, submit time cards, magic cylinder, trash can, gone by morning, five years, no one complained
Transcript
Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."
Saturday January 29,
2000
Tags stressed out, work, feel better, verbally abused, co worker, money spit, use that one
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."
Wednesday March 08,
2000
Tags cancel others, crazy ideas, one you of ten, research projects, research and development
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss: "One out of ten research and development projects will succeed." He continues: "I recommend cancelling the other nine." Sitting at lunch with his co-workers, Wally says: "I wonder where he gets all these crazy ideas."
Thursday March 09,
2000
Tags one page report, two page executive summary, spend the day, snapping underwear, elastic band
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."
Wednesday April 19,
2000
Tags life misrable, thwart move, new sadist, old one, sadist paradise, auditing department
Transcript
A man enters Dilbert's cubicle shouting, "I'll make your life miserable! I'll thwart your every move!" The man introduces himself to Dilbert, "Hi. I'm the new sadist." Dilbert replies, "What happened to the old one?" The sadist answers, "He went to sadist paradise." Dilbert ask, "The auditing department?"
Friday June 02,
2000
Tags every person, on earth, one person, the entire world, tibetan monks, ugly website
Transcript
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"
Friday June 09,
2000
Tags two faced, employee, see one, turn around, other faces, confusing, frustrating, pointing
Transcript
Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.
Friday October 13,
2000
Tags new guy, rude or shy, rudy, shilo, don't know name, boss introductions, no one knows, name him
Transcript
The boss is standing with a worker and says to Dilbert, "Here's the new guy. I don't know his name." The boss continues, "He's either rude or shy. No one knows for sure." The boss says, "If you figure it out, name hime either Shilo or Rudy."
Monday November 06,
2000
Tags passport, cubicle tranquility, no one ever thought, undesirables
Transcript
Noriko, holding a 'Do Not Disturb' sign, says to Dilbert, "This sign is my passport to cubicle tranquillity." Putting up the sign on the outside of her cubicle, Noriko says to Dilbert, "I wonder why no one ever thought of it before." Noriko, sitting at her computer, frowns angrily as Wally says, "Nice sign. Does it keep away the undesirables?"