Out Of Engineer Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Out Of Engineer

View 71 - 80 results for out of engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Out Of Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #run comapony, #only female engineer, #watch discrimination, #coffee wenches

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand outside a conference room holding folders. Alice says, "In a way, I'm glad the Elbonians run this company now." As they take their seats at the conference table, Alice smiles and says, "After years of being the only female engineer I'll enjoy watching the Elbonians discriminate against you guys." The Elbonian sitting next to Alice hands her a mug and says, "I didn't realize you had coffee wenches in this country too." Alice looks furious. Wally says to the Elbonian, "I hope you don't want children, Yorgi." A caption reads, "Continued . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame the media, #blow out proportion, #dispappear, #human nature, #third wife, #Wally, #free replacements

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You could offer free replacements for all the keyboards you sold without a 'Q,' or you could blame the media for blowing it out of proportion." Wally says, "Let's blame the media. They'll admit they were wrong and the whole thing will disappear." Dogbert says, "You have a brilliant grasp of human nature, Wally." Wally responds, "I know. My third wife always said the same thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never answered email, #secretary out, #message on hardcopy, #out of paprus, #chiseled on pyramid, #ufos?

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peers out of his cubicle and says to the Boss as he walks by, "You never answered my e-mail." The Boss says, "My secretary is out, so there's nobody to print my e-mail for me. Bring me your message on hardcopy." Dilbert enters the Boss's office holding a small pyramid and says, "I was out of papyrus so I chiseled my message on a little pyramid." The Boss thinks, "Did he work alone or were UFOs involved?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #casual friday, #tan pants, #business casual, #unattractive, #unorofessional, #fashion opinion, #engineer matters

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice walks past Wally's cubicle. Wally says, "Well, it wouldn't be Friday if I didn't see Alice wearing her one pair of tan pants." Wally continues, "I love the 'business casual' look for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." Alice responds, "Do you think the fashion opinion of a male engineer matters to me??" Dilbert enters wearing the same print shirt and pants as Alice. Dilbert yells, "Twins!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 900 audit, #documented job, #auditor asks, #engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We're having an ISO 9000 audit this week." The Boss continues, "Take a look at your documented job descriptions and make sure that it's what you're doing if the auditor asks." Looking at his job description, Dilbert says, "According to this I'm some sort of engineer." Wally, looking at his, says, "As if we'd have time for that . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired, #audit, #perfect job, #give money, #call dolts, #alice, #engineer, #makes slides, #eat donuts, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Alice, "I've been hired by your company to perform an ISO 9000 audit." Looking at his laptop PC, Dogbert says, "Basically, you give me money and I tell you that you're a bunch of dolts. It's the perfect job for me." Dogbert continues, "Tell me what you do here, Alice, if that's your real name." Alice replies, "I'm an engineer. I make slides that people can't read. Sometimes I eat donuts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate jet pilot, #captain dogbert, #first flight, #training budget, #look out window, #jump, #in case of crash

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in the cockpit of an airplane. He says, "Attention, passenger." Dogbert continues, "I'm Captain Dogbert. This is my first flight. I'll bet you wish you hadn't cut the corporate training budget." The passenger, the CEO of the company, looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "For safety, keep an eye out the window . . . If it looks like we're gonna hit the ground, try jumping up right before impact." The passenger looks scared.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beta prodcut, #fix problems, #logically impossible, #schedule, #manager, #not engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."