Oxygen Being Wasted Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

540 Results for Oxygen Being Wasted

View 71 - 80 results for oxygen being wasted comic strips. Discover the best "Oxygen Being Wasted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cartoonists, #ventriloquism, #writing, #hand puppet, #data overload, #ridiculous, #poorly written story, #case closed

View Transcript

Transcript

Police says, "We have a report of a pointy-haired boss being stunned by data overload, stuffed, and used as a hand puppet." Alice says, "That's ridiculous. It sounds like the plot of a poorly written story arc." Police says, "It sounds poorly drawn too." Alice says, "Case closed, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #quarreling, #bullying behavior, #confirmation bias, #delusional witch

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's begin the meeting, but be aware that I'm documenting all of your bullying behavior. Dilbert: Um... I'm not even close to being a bully, but now your confirmation bias will make everything I say sound like bullying to you. Woman: Can you repeat the part after you implied that I'm a delusional witch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #shopping, #hardware, #powerpoint deck, #boss, #ambiguity, #mumbling, #change subject, #badger for answer, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.