Personal Phone Comic Strips - Page 8
528 Results for Personal Phone
View 71 - 80 results for personal phone comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 18, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."
Share June 01, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My cellular phone and laptop computer allow me to work any time and anyplace . . ." Dogbert asks, "While driving?" Dilbert answers, "Too dangerous." Dogbert asks, "In restaurants?" Dilbert answers, "Too rude." Dogbert asks, "Outdoors?" Dilbert answers, "Nope." Dogbert concludes, "Basically, you lug them around and worry that they'll get stolen or broken." Dilbert fondles his laptop and says, "Stop it. You're scaring them."
Share June 17, 1995's comic on:
The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."
Share November 06, 1995's comic on:
Ratbert approaches Dilbert's desk and says, "I've come to be your personal digital assistant." Ratbert hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use the little pen to write messages on my stomach. I'll use state-of-the-rat technology to interpret your handwriting." As Dilbert writes on Ratbert's stomach, Ratbert says, "Weave . . . me . . . a . . . cone . . . yoo . . . cupid . . . bat . . ."
Share July 02, 1989's comic on:
The telephone rings. Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello." The voice on the other end says, "This is the governor . . ." The governor says, "Do you remember that snotty letter you wrote about prison overcrowding? We thought YOU might want to look after one of our guys for thiry or forty years." The doorbell rings. A large man in a prison uniform says, "Hi. I'm Bob. My friends would call me 'Strangler' if they were alive." Bob carries a suitcase into the house and asks, "So, where do you keep the blunt objects? Sure is crowded in here." Dilbert clenches his fist and says, "Ooh! I am so tempted to fire off another letter over this!!" Dogbert says, "Yeah! 'Postage due' this time!"
Share December 17, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."
Share August 12, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and asks, "Want to hear some engineer jokes?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dogbert says, "Six: one to hold the bulb and five to argue about how to rotate it on this side of the equator." Dogbert giggles. Dogbert says, "What's the difference between a fungus and an engineer? A fungus can grow on you . . ." He laughs. Dogbert asks, "What do you call a dog that's been run over by a steamroller?" Dilbert says, "Spot." Dogbert leaves the room and says, "We were having such a good time until he started getting personal."
Share November 23, 1993's comic on:
Share January 26, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a conference table next to a laptop and an overhead projector. He says to the Boss, Alice and Wally, "I've reduced your service costs by giving the technical-support group an unlisted phone number." Dogbert continues, "And a flaw in your product disables the customer's e-mail; they can't even write to you for help!" The Boss asks, "What if they ask a friend to e-mail us?" Alice responds, "People who use our product don't have friends." Wally asks, "Really? I use it."
Share February 10, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert lies on the couch looking worried and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "I have too many passwords in my life. What if I forget them?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he shouts, "You'd lose your job! You wouldn't be able to withdraw money or check phone messages! You'd be dead in a week!" Dilbert's hair and tie fly up and he says, "That would have been a good time to be quietly supportive, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun."