Political Reasons Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

97 Results for Political Reasons

View 71 - 80 results for political reasons comic strips. Discover the best "Political Reasons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illness, laziness, sitting disease, sit all day, bad health, safety more eimportant, drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags environmental issues, batteries discarded, landfill, janitor, trash, garbage, recycle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: For environmental reasons, all used batteries must be discarded in the special receptacle in the break room. When it's full, the janitor will dump it into the regular trash and take it to the landfill. Dilbert: Maybe we could ask him not to. Boss: No one know what language he speaks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wounds & injuries, work related injury, year off, with pay, drinking coffee, listening to podcast, personal, butt hurts, kill, murder, surfing internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, excuse, leadership, Promotion, promote

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Attendance Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Haircut Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Hairdresser Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control

View Transcript

Transcript

The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags awareness, consciousness, happiness, obliviousness, resentment, revenge, soul, technology, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

Smart People Are On Both Sides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Politics, intelligence, appearances, perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.