Poor Persons Comic Strips - Page 8
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Character
106 Results for Poor Persons
View 71 - 80 results for poor persons comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Persons" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 16,
2012
Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.
Wednesday January 16,
2013
Tags fear, change is good, don't fear change, sickness and death, alarming symptoms
Transcript
Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!
Saturday January 26,
2013
Tags charitable organizations, have a dream, recycled software, busy week, recycled, old software, math programs
Transcript
Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.
Saturday June 07,
2008
Tags executive steering group, cancel designs, sowed seeds of destruction, unclear
Transcript
The Boss says, "The executive steering group took your recommendation to cancel all design projects." Dilbert says, "What?!! I didn't recommend that!" The Boss says, "Uh-oh. Your poor communication skills have sowed the seeds of our destruction." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!" Dilbert says, "Am I an unclear communicator?" Dogbert says, "six o'clock."
Tuesday June 10,
2008
Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight
Transcript
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"
Tuesday November 25,
2008
Tags coldness of the grave, dress it up, high in demand, mad, time, time management, waiting
Transcript
Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.
Monday June 07,
2010
Tags report, strategy, boss' job, labels, managing
Transcript
Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."
Thursday July 22,
2010
Tags lab coat, invention, scan, brain, predict, buy, kill, suspicious, microwave, smoke out of ears, rays
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy? a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part of your brain." FERT!
Friday October 01,
2010
Tags marketing, meeting, big mouth, open, stupid, product, guess, business
Transcript
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."
Tuesday February 24,
2009
Tags complaining, yelling, angry, future
Transcript
Asok the intern says, "Your generation is leaving my generation a dying planet and a crippling debt." Wally says, "Hee Hee!" Asok the intern says, "But we shall invent life-extending drugs so you will suffer along with us! Ha!" News Wally says, "Uh-oh." Asok the intern says, "We will connect you to machines and keep you alive until the poor demand to eat you." Wally says, "Well played."


