Positive Attitude Comic Strips - Page 8

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86 Results for Positive Attitude

View 71 - 80 results for positive attitude comic strips. Discover the best "Positive Attitude" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

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The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #question, #hold out paper, #technical accuracy, #no, #coffee, #bad attitude, #harsh, #grumpy

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Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #email, #document, #attachment, #attitude, #cross arms, #care about time, #pay stub, #smile, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #etiquette & ethics, #lying

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The boss says, "Asok, we're getting killed by bad customer reviews online." The boss says, "I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews." Asok says, "Doesn't that break some sort of law?" The boss says, "Heck no. it only crosses some ethical boundaries and violates the term of service for the web site." The boss says, "And depending on your religious views, it might be a hiccup on your way to paradise." The boss says, "But I'm almost certain there won't be any jail time or eternal damnation." Asok says, "Well...okay." The boss says, "And be sure to defame our competitors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #accoutning, #crawling, #hole, #creature, #bureacracy, #unhappy

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Dilbert thinks, "Groan" Accounting Dilbert says, "I'd like to see someone about my rejected expense report." Creature says, "The problem is that you didn't submit a receipt for your bridge toll." Dilbert says, "Or maybe the problem is that you have a joyless, dead-end job." Dilbert says, "ANd your boss doesn't allow you to use your own judgement because working here is proof that you don't make good decisions." Creature says, "Actually, I was going to approve it." Dilbert says, "You don't have to get an attitude about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2006's comic on:


Tags #360 degree reviews, #peer input, #negative review, #peer review, #next raise, #annoymous, #realization

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"It's almost time for our 360 degree reviews." "That means your compensation is partly dependent on the input of your peers." "I'd hate to see something bad happen to you, like, I don't know...maybe a negative review." "I've taken the liberty of calculating the value of a good peer review in terms of your next raise." "Pay me half of that amount, and I'll guarantee a positive outcome." "How would I know you gave me a good one? Peer reviews are anonymous." "What is it about me that makes people so distrusting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fitness, #martial arts, #violence, #fighting, #yoga, #misunderstanding, #exercise, #fusion, #danger, #health

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Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

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Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

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Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.