Previous Manager Killed Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Previous Manager Killed

View 71 - 80 results for previous manager killed comic strips. Discover the best "Previous Manager Killed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #design one microchip, #dozens of meetings, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "All you did this quarter is design one microship." "In comparison, I found the time to attend dozens of meetings." "Now do you see what it takes to be a manager?" "Sadly, yes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #manager sounding voice, #promotion to management, #no qualifications

View Transcript

Transcript

"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.:

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #wake up call, #^am, #bellmen, #head of bed, #blind maids, #pants, #manager, #five star hotel

View Transcript

Transcript

Five-Star Hotel The Boss: "I'd like a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and a second one at 6:15." "Then I'd like a team of bellmen to lift the head of the bed while blind maids hold my pants so I can slide into them." "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a manager."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #hit man, #killed, #cover tracks, #endless cycle, #all free

View Transcript

Transcript

"The trouble with hiring a hit man is that you have to have him killed to cover your tracks." "Then you need a hit man to hit the guy who killed the hit man. It's an endless cycle!" "But ultimately, it's all free, right?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #apply for opening, #manager, #bonding, #compete for same job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I apply for the opening in R&D? The Boss: Hey, I just applied for the manager job there? Dilbert: Um...maybe I'll wait. The Boss: To make sure I'll be your boss?" Dilbert: Ooo-kay... The Boss: This must be what bonding feels like."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #leader, #manager, #bad managers, #hinesty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #chain of command, #district manager, #ceo, #braille toad, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #revenge, #killed robot, #uploaded personality, #internet, #decommissioned it, #subroutines, #haunting, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You killed our robot. Alice: He had it coming. Dilbert: Are you aware that it uploaded its personality to the internet before you violently decommissioned it? Alice: What? Dilbert: Did you know it had subroutines for haunting, revenge, and being a jerk. Alice: What? Robot: We meet again.