Problems In Dept Comic Strips - Page 8

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217 Results for Problems In Dept

View 71 - 80 results for problems in dept comic strips. Discover the best "Problems In Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #son to work, #Advice, #age, #idiots, #career decisions, #expecting, #unforeseen problems, #business

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Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers, #managers & supervisors, #morale, #robots, #problems, #lying, #spectacular job, #award randomly, #in charge, #robot boss, #temporary, #employees, #oversight, #business

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Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.

Root Cause Is People

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Root Cause Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #problems, #cause and effect, #human error

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Dilbert: I found the root cause of our problems. It's people. They're buggy. Boss: Did you bring a pen?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Anger Issues

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Anger Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #anger issues, #listen to crazy people, #mental problems, #work weekend, #crazy people

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The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.

Everyone Else Is Worthless

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Everyone Else Is Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work

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The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #worry, #no probelms, #insane, #universe, #nail waiting for hammer, #pre frontal cortex, #anticipation, #too smooth, #mysteriously calm, #uncomforatbale

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Dilbert: I'm worried because I don't seem to have any problems today. Wally: Uh-oh. Dilbert: That either means I'm insane or the universe is saving up something big. Wally: Or both. Dilbert: I feel like a nail waiting to get hammered. Wally: The pre-frontal cortex is overrated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers

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Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #baked products, #eat, #cupcake

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Dogbert is wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dilbert says, ". . . So, the cupcakes you baked mutated into a hideous monster and ate the neighbor's Chevy . . . Great." Dogbert says, "Oh, like YOU'VE never had problems with a recipe." Dilbert says, "What happens if my neighbor sues?!" Dogbert asks, "Did I mention that he was in the Chevy?"