Put New Guy Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Put New Guy

View 71 - 80 results for put new guy comic strips. Discover the best "Put New Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #financial, #trouble, #new computer, #executive suite, #no visitors, #vacant offcies, #financial troubles, #old computer, #vacant office, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #spreadsheet, #yelling, #pain, #bored, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cell phone product, #form of radiation, #negative effect, #head turn red, #weight loss, #new cell phone, #positive spin

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #train mailroom guy, #worthjless, #unimportant, #email, #shovel emails, #recycling bins, #clean desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #set up meeting, #review board, #new technologies, #decide, #answer question

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #experience, #inexperience, #panic, #viable prodcut, #feature list, #deck, #first day, #no respect, #inexperienced guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Inexperienced Guy. Boss: Put together a deck showing the minimum viable product feature list. Employee: What is a deck? What is a minimum viable product? How would I know what the features are? Boss: I have no respect for people who ask questions. Employee: First day, not good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Just A Guy In A Box

Thank you for voting.
Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #existentialism, #existence, #value, #work, #use, #useful, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.