Replace Brain Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

271 Results for Replace Brain

View 71 - 80 results for replace brain comic strips. Discover the best "Replace Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner, #socially defective brain, #voicemail, #speakerphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron is sitting at his desk, using speakerphone to listen to his messages. The voice mail service is heard aloud, "Press one to hear." Alice approaches from behind and asks, "Why are you using your speakerphone for voice-mail?" She continues, annoyed, "I mean, seriously, what is going through that socially defective brain of yours?" Ron responds, "Would you like to have dinner?" To which Alice's answer is, "Yeah, why not."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #india institute of technology, #huge brain, #mental superiority, #re heat tea, #forehead, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replace myself, #cheap elbonian labor, #describe appearence, #coffe mug

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #had coccyx removed, #unnecessary body parts, #removed, #brain, #care, #tonsils

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Where were you last week? Wally: I had my coccyx removed. Im having all of my unnecessary parts removed so I can get time off from work. Dilbert: How about the part of your brain that makes you care about others? Wally: its on the list after tonsils.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product development, #brain storm ideas, #boredom, #chocolate cake, #after lunch, #roast beef mittens

View Transcript

Transcript

Product development The boss: first we'll cover the walls with brain storm ideas. How about something that turns boredom into chocolate cake? The Boss: I should have done this after lunch. Roast beef mittens?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nickname, #the wizard, #my guru, #the lizard, #small brain, #ambition, #catches quicker

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "From now on, my nickname ill be "the wizard." It wpeaks to my guru status." Alice: "I think I'll call you "the lizard." IT speaks to your small brain and lack of ambition." wally: "Please don't." Alice: "Let's see which one catches on quicker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consultsincentivize the resources, #grow bandwidth, #end state vision, #kimono, #consult and blabbery, #core competencies, #brain dump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults. Incentivize the resources to grow within their bandwidth to your end-state vision. "Don't open the Kimono until you ping the change agent for brain dump and drill down to your core competencies." "Confused look...huge invoice...this man is a victim of consult and blabbery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fresh cauliflower, #sleep, #operation oiwrked, #reminds me, #anesthesia, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."