Request To Add Memeory Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

190 Results for Request To Add Memeory

View 71 - 80 results for request to add memeory comic strips. Discover the best "Request To Add Memeory" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #humilate, #bob, #dinosaur, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the counter wearing an apron. He reads a recipe and thinks, "Add one jar of spaghetti sauce . . ." Dilbert struggles with the lid on the can. Dilbert lies on the counter trying to open the jar. Dogbert says, "Let me try to humiliate you by opening it easily." Dogbert struggles with the lid and thinks, "This definitely would have worked in 'Family Circus.'" Dogbert walks down the hall and says, "I'll see if Bob can open it." Dogbert hands the jar to Bob the Dinosaur. Bob says, "No problem for a mighty dinosaur." Bob smashes the lid against his forehead. Dilbert scrapes the sauce off Bob's forehead and into the bowl. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Will you STOP humming 'My Way.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #opinions, #self described feminists, #non stereo typical, #female characters, #balance, #antina, #math, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table with Tina who is growling. Dogbert says, "A while back I asked for opinions about this new character, 'Tina the Brittle Tech Writer.'" Dogbert presents the results, "Most people, including nearly all the self-described feminists, said keep her. But there were many requests to add 'non-stereotypical' female characters for balance." Dogbert points at a muscular woman with a shaved head and says, "In the interest of balance I give you 'Antina.'" Antina says, "Is anybody up for some math?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #primary vendor, #make a choice, #impractical solution

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, ". . . But our primary vendor can't deliver, so . . ." The Boss ignores Dilbert and thinks, "I wonder what's on tv tonight." Dilbert continues, ". . . Should we risk a lawsuit or build a product that nobody on earth wants?" The Boss thinks, "Did he ask me to make a choice?" Dilbert thinks, "Will it be a request for information or an impractical solution?" The Boss says, "Let's do both!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive summary, #approval page, #executives, #understand, #know less, #aaa road service, #uphill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss hands him a document and says, "Add an executive summary to the approval page." The Boss continues, "Keep it simple. Our executives don't understand as much about technology as I do." Dilbert asks, "How could they know less than you do? You haven't figured out how to make your car go uphill." The Boss replies, "Wrong; I got AAA road service."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lprodcut complet, #ships tomorrow, #additional features, #marketing department, #customers, #want hardware, #times like this, #psycho path

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another employee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a software box and says, "At long last our product is complete. It ships tomorrow." The other employee says, "That's terrific. I only have a few additional features to add and the marketing department will be happy." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss continues, "I believe that our customers want hardware, not software." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's times like this I wish I were a psychopath." Dilbert asks, "You're not?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not paid big bucks, #presentation, #use walkie talkie, #walk the talk, #carol, #look at paycheck

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his secretary, "When Dilbert comes by, tell him to add 'walk the talk' to his presentation." The secretary says to Dilbert, "He wants you to use a 'Walkie-Talkie' to do the presentation." Dilbert asks, "Um . . . Did he say why?" The secretary holds up her paycheck and says, "Hey, look at my paycheck! I just realized I don't get paid the big bucks!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #battery back up, #product, #no electricity

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I've got an idea. Let's add a battery backup to our product." Dilbert thinks, "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ." The Boss says, "I've got an idea. Why don't we add a battery backup to our product?" Dilbert replies, "Because our product doesn't use electricity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consulting, #credibility, #money, #better spent consulting, #downsizing, #analysis, #upgrade deluxe service, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to add credibility to my decisions." Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "As my analysis shows, it's much better to give your money to me than to waste it on future downsizees such as yourselves." Wally asks, "What analysis? This is a page ripped out of the magazine in our lobby." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should upgrade to my deluxe service."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the consultant, #meet boss, #dogcart talks, #crud, #crudibility, #pointy haired wonder

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. He tells the Boss, "Let me do the talking when we meet with your boss." Dogbert says to a woman behind a desk, "As you know, any idea from the pointy-haired wonder is crud, but when you add my ability, what do you have?" The woman asks, "Crudability?" Dogbert says, "And good looks too!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one hundred business cases, #level of approval

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert carries a stack of documents. He tells the Boss, "Per your instructions, my request for a million dollars has been broken into one hundred business cases." Dilbert continues, "Each one is for ten thousand dollars, which is your exact level of approval authority." The Boss says, "I meant I can approve anything UNDER ten thousand dollars . . . So if you wouldn't mind . . ." Dilbert replies, "Killing you? No, I wouldn't mind a bit."