Returned Calls Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

122 Results for Returned Calls

View 71 - 80 results for returned calls comic strips. Discover the best "Returned Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #date, #complain, #all night, #called a loser, #personality, #one thing, #complaint, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #total sociopath, #rifle through purse, #call me, #ring once, #robbed, #date, #hug, #robbery

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and Ron are saying their goodbyes next to Ron's car. They're headed towards an embrace. Alice says, "You're a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man." As they're hugging, Ron's hand is in Alice's purse. She cries, "Oh yes, rifle through my purse! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ron heads back to his car. Alice calls after him, "Call me?" Ron responds while counting the money he's just stolen from her, "Sure. But you'd better wait by the phone; I only ring once."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #punctuated equilibrium, #third eye, #natural advantage, #dinosaurs, #enemies, #ziteye

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob says to Dogbert, "I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye." Dogbert replies, "That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs." Bob says, "Ha ha! My only enemies are Bullysaurs and they..." A Bullysaur sneaks up behind Bob and calls out, "Hey, zit eye!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #customer references, #parking lot, #ring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. Dilbert asks, "Do you have any customer references I could call?" The salesman hands him a piece of paper and says, "Right here." Dilbert calls the number, "Beep, beep, boop, beep." The salesman's cell phone rings. The salesman's cell phone continues to ring. Dilbert says, "No answer." The salesman replies, "Try again when I'm in the parking lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lawyer, #400 per hour, #calls dilbert, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello. "This is your lawyer." Lawyer: "Do you mind if I think about you for a few minutes?" "Um... no." "Mmm... $400 an hour." Dilbert: "Wait.. dear lord... noooo!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #unverifiable prodcutivity, #phone call, #built consensus, #attended meetings, #set priorities

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity." "I made phone calls, built consensus, displayed leadership, attended meetings and set priorities." "And then we have this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #morale, #family picture, #picture of you, #hard to look at, #freaks, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, to the Boss, who is sitting at his desk, "...So our morale is... umm..." Alice asks, "What's that on your desk?" The Boss says, "It's a family picture." Alice picks up the photograph, "I might be wrong but I think it's only a picture of you." The Boss says, "The rest of the family is hard to look at." The Boss continues, "I see no reason I should suffer." Alice is stunned. The Boss asks, "Now what was your question about morale?" Alice walks out of the Boss' office. He calls to her, "Alice?" The Boss picks up the picture of himself and says, directly to it, "We're surrounded by freaks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2006's comic on:


Tags #expressing opnion, #thousand expressions, #the wood chipper

View Transcript

Transcript

"Erk! That look says you want to kill me for expressing my opinion!" "No, no." "Women have a thousand expressions that say they want you to die. That one says she wants you to die of natural causes, preferably soon." Budda budda budda "She calls this one 'The Wood Chipper.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."