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Dilbert is assembling something. Dogbert says to him, "I'm going to start an airline that has no planes." Dogbert continues, "I'll take people's money and make them sit in a crowded room while ex-cons steal from their luggage." Dilbert turns and replies, "What happens when your customers realize you have no airplanes?" Dogbert responds, "I call that 'mechanical difficulties.'"
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert are in a meeting. Wally says, "My accomplishments for the week include scheduling a meeting." Wally continues, "But some people were using the conference room so we milled around for a while and gave up." The Boss responds, "You could have used another room." Wally replies, "What part of 'gave up' is confusing you?"
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, reserve the conference room every day for the next day in case I need it." Carol responds, "You're too late. Some other sociopath had the same idea and beat you to it." As The Boss walks away he thinks to himself, "I hate being the slowest sociopath."
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I got fired from my job at the restaurant." Dilbert continues, "Every time I carried hot soup my thumb would slip in and I'd scream and spray the whole dining room." Dilbert continues, "I blame the soup." Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup."
Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"
Dilbert says to Carol, "Carol, I need to reserve the glass-walled conference room by the main lobby." Carol replies, "The 'Fish Bowl' is only available to attractive employees. We don't want to scare visitors." Dilbert says, "I want a second opinion." Carol replies, "Very well. I'll convene the tribunal of admin assistants."
Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants will hear the case of..." Carol continues, "The man who is too unattractive to use the glass-walled conference room versus humanity." Dilbert exclaims, "You put the verdict in the name of the case!" Carol replies, "We're efficient."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "If the water company can pipe water to my house, why can't the toothpaste company do the same?" The Boss continues, "The toothpaste factory should have a pipe to every home so you can turn a faucet..." The Boss continues, "And don't even get me started about pudding." Dilbert hits his fists together and thinks, "Meteor, meteor, meteor, meteor."
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."
The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"