Short Term Relationsips Comic Strips - Page 8
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99 Results for Short Term Relationsips
View 71 - 80 results for short term relationsips comic strips. Discover the best "Short Term Relationsips" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 22,
2003
Tags #career counseling, #mad about downsized, #involves punching, #kicking, #resume, #alice, #seeking job
Transcript
Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."
Monday January 31,
2005
Tags #eating at desk, #furry log, #stealing from company
Transcript
CatBert: "Eating at your desk is like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice: "I'm working through my lunch hour, you furry log." Catbert: "Furry log?" Alice: "It's a term of endearment."
Monday October 09,
2006
Sunday April 16,
2000
Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone
Transcript
The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."
Thursday February 07,
2008
Tags #boss, #distraction, #meeting, #move, #office, #phone ring, #rug catch fire, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
Tuesday September 23,
2008
Tags #trouble ticket, #have problem, #catch all, #shift change, #eascalation, #accidental disconnect
Transcript
A man says, "How can you say my trouble ticket is resolved when I still have the problem??!" Dogbert says, "Resolved is a catch-all term that can mean a shift change, escalation, or even an accidental disconnect." The man says, "So... you escalated it?" CLICK
Wednesday October 27,
2010
Tags #date, #restaurant, #drink, #martini, #olive, #choke, #shake hand, #vortex of failure
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."
Monday February 23,
2009
Tags #meeting, #eating, #customers, #angry, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "Thanks for coming on short notice. I called this meeting because?" Wally says, "?Company policy allows me to order donuts for any meeting that includes customers." Wally says, "I don't work on commission."
Wednesday September 23,
2009
Tags #asking, #mood, #description, #angry, #mad, #ridicule, #criticism
Transcript
Dilbert says, "What kind of mood is he in?" Alice says, "Tired and fussy." Alice says, "Also confused, bumbling, clueless, arrogant, short, bald and pudgy." Dilbert says, "He's right behind you." Alice says, "Add 'Angry.' Good luck."
Sunday February 01,
2009
Tags #etiquette & ethics, #lying
Transcript
The boss says, "Asok, we're getting killed by bad customer reviews online." The boss says, "I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews." Asok says, "Doesn't that break some sort of law?" The boss says, "Heck no. it only crosses some ethical boundaries and violates the term of service for the web site." The boss says, "And depending on your religious views, it might be a hiccup on your way to paradise." The boss says, "But I'm almost certain there won't be any jail time or eternal damnation." Asok says, "Well...okay." The boss says, "And be sure to defame our competitors."