Short Term Relationsips Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for short term relationsips comic strips. Discover the best "Short Term Relationsips" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career counseling, #mad about downsized, #involves punching, #kicking, #resume, #alice, #seeking job

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Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eating at desk, #furry log, #stealing from company

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CatBert: "Eating at your desk is like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice: "I'm working through my lunch hour, you furry log." Catbert: "Furry log?" Alice: "It's a term of endearment."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Why did you attach the plunger of blame to me? "The short answer is 'Because I can.'" "What's the long answer?" "Because I-I-I-I ca-a-a-n."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone

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The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #distraction, #meeting, #move, #office, #phone ring, #rug catch fire, #business

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Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trouble ticket, #have problem, #catch all, #shift change, #eascalation, #accidental disconnect

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A man says, "How can you say my trouble ticket is resolved when I still have the problem??!" Dogbert says, "Resolved is a catch-all term that can mean a shift change, escalation, or even an accidental disconnect." The man says, "So... you escalated it?" CLICK

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #restaurant, #drink, #martini, #olive, #choke, #shake hand, #vortex of failure

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Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #eating, #customers, #angry, #business

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Wally says, "Thanks for coming on short notice. I called this meeting because?" Wally says, "?Company policy allows me to order donuts for any meeting that includes customers." Wally says, "I don't work on commission."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #mood, #description, #angry, #mad, #ridicule, #criticism

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Dilbert says, "What kind of mood is he in?" Alice says, "Tired and fussy." Alice says, "Also confused, bumbling, clueless, arrogant, short, bald and pudgy." Dilbert says, "He's right behind you." Alice says, "Add 'Angry.' Good luck."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #lying

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The boss says, "Asok, we're getting killed by bad customer reviews online." The boss says, "I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews." Asok says, "Doesn't that break some sort of law?" The boss says, "Heck no. it only crosses some ethical boundaries and violates the term of service for the web site." The boss says, "And depending on your religious views, it might be a hiccup on your way to paradise." The boss says, "But I'm almost certain there won't be any jail time or eternal damnation." Asok says, "Well...okay." The boss says, "And be sure to defame our competitors."