Smash Watch Comic Strips - Page 8
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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, guys. I'm Wendell J. Stone the Fourth, recent Stanford MBA and brand new to the workforce." Dilbert and Wally look at each other. Wally says, "Look, 'Wen-dull,' we aren't impressed by your education. At this company it's the quality of your work that counts!" Wendell replies, "I'm your new senior vice president, and I want you to lick the tar off my Porsche now." Wally says, "Okay, but watch the quality of my work!"
Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "This show is garbage. I will eschew it." Dilbert uses the remote control to change the channel. Dilbert and Dogbert watch tv. Dogbert says, "That explains your breath." Dilbert asks, "You're in your own little world, aren't you?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in Dilbert's lab. Dilbert says, "I'm adjusting the pointer pen laser light for my presentation tomorrow." Dilbert says, "I'm boosting the power so it's easier to see. Watch it while I get the phone." Dogbert turns the power up and the pen glows. Dogbert says, "The aliens appear hostile, captain. Set phasers to full power!"
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."
Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"
The Boss points to a diagram and says, "Problem: our product development process requires buy-in from managers who'd be happier if we all died." As he puts a new transparency on the overhead projector, the Boss says, "My solution is to create executive oversight groups who don't understand the issues and don't have time to meet." Wally and Dilbert watch as the Boss looks into the light and yells, "I'm . . . I'm blind!" Dilbert says, "You looked directly at the bulb again."
Dilbert and Alice watch as Dogbert points to a diagram and says, "Your target market is the high income group. They're the only ones who can afford your product." Dogbert continues, "More specifically, they must be rich, tasteless and easily amused. I've located a cluster of them to study." Dogbert stands behind a bush on a golf course and watches two golfers. One golfer says, "That dog's watching us golf again."
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."