Sound Of No Money Comic Strips - Page 8

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764 Results for Sound Of No Money

View 71 - 80 results for sound of no money comic strips. Discover the best "Sound Of No Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #2004, #cheaper than dating, #date at door, #Dogbert, #future, #holodeck, #virtual reality, #writing article, #money, #male hormones

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Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dress codes don't apply, #fireing, #hire back, #more money, #reverence package, #telecommute, #two weeks vaction

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"Great news -- You're fired!" "You get a generous severance package, two weeks' vacation, AND we hire you back as a contractor for more money!!" "And I can telecommute if I want, but since dress codes don't apply to me..." "Aargh!" "Bonk, Bonk"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer interface, #hurt user, #new sound designs, #sound of puking, #fingernails on blackboard, #bird hitting window, #disturbing sounds, #visceral reactions

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Dilbert stands behind a man with an eye patch who is working on his computer. The man says, "My theory is that a computer interface should hurt the user." The man continues, "So I designed some new sounds into our product. We've got 'sound of puking,' 'fingernails on blackboard' and 'bird hitting window.'" Dilbert looks ill. The man continues, "But suppose the user does something WRONG. Then we have the sound of a puking bird hitting a blackboard." Dilbert falls down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #venture capital firm, #watching people, #moronic ideas, #money, #crimp the mirth, #finance

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Dilbert lies on his couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own venture capital firm." Dogbert continues, "I'm attracted to the concept of watching people with moronic ideas beg for money." Dilbert asks, "Will you actually finance anybody?" Dogbert replies, "That would sort of crimp the mirth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #no surpirses, #hideous thing, #scares me, #auditor, #sound

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Dogbert introduces the Grim Reaper to the Boss. Dogbert says, "My consultant will audit your company to make sure there are no surprises before I buy it." The Boss looks shocked. Dogbert sits on the edge of the desk while the Grim Reaper looks through a stack of documents. Dogbert says to the Boss, "I use him because he's seen such hideous things that nothing scares him." The Grim Reaper looks at a document and says, "Erk." The Grim Reaper throws documents into the air and shouts, "AAAAAEEII!! OOOUWAA WAA!!" Dogbert says to the Boss, "That's not the sound you want from your auditor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options

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Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #financial advisor, #sticks, #nuuities, #capital gains, #reduce income taxes, #give me money, #die a pauper

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A prospective client sits across from Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "Stocks . . . annuities . . . derivatives . . . capital gains tax . . ." Dogbert shouts, "It's all too confusing for you!! Give me all your money now or you'll die a pauper!! Now! Now!! Before interest rates fall!! As he signs a document, the client says, "Will this reduce my income taxes?" Dogbert says, "More than you might guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #increase budget, #training, #leave the company, #more money, #competitor, #down side

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"