Stock Price Comic Strips - Page 8
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Character
220 Results for Stock Price
View 71 - 80 results for stock price comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Price" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 29,
2001
Tags #stock analyst, #good things, #company, #weasels, #business
Transcript
Dogbert: your stock will rise if a stock analyst says good things about your company. The Boss: how is that even possible? Dogbert: one word: weasels. weasels: I just found my new pick and shovel core holding.
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Tuesday January 30,
2001
Tags #equity analyst, #rate stock, #banking investment, #wall, #between businesses, #weasels
Transcript
Equity Analyst Weasel: I'll rate your stock a "Must buy now" If you give us your investment banking business. The Boss: aren't you supposed yo have a chinese wall between those two businesses? weasel: Am I Too early? Weasel 1: Use the door idiot
Monday February 12,
2001
Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."
Thursday March 15,
2001
Tags #billion shares, #dot com subsidary, #fire everyone, #presdient, #raise, #stock, #promoting
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"
Monday April 23,
2001
Tags #weekly wally report, #stock options, #maple, #someone lost more
Transcript
The boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a table. Wally says, "Now for the weekly Wally report." Wally says, "Wally struggled to maintain his morale despite the ninety percent drop in his stock options." Wally continues, "Then he remembered that someone lost much, much, much more that he did."
Friday April 27,
2001
Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics
Transcript
Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.
Saturday April 28,
2001
Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed
Transcript
A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"
Wednesday May 16,
2001
Tags #accepting bribes, #vendor, #golf lessons, #trip to veags, #price sheets
Transcript
Carol sits between the Boss and Catbert. Catbert scolds Carol, saying "BAD!" while the Boss says, "Carol, you can't keep accepting bribes from salespeople who want access to me." Carol replies, "Didn't a vendor just take you on a golf trip to Vegas?" The Boss says, "That is so-o-o!" Carol replies, "Let's compare price sheets."
Tuesday August 07,
2001
Tags #rave review, #buy review, #new movie, #afford, #full price range, #new years day, #best comedy so far, #this year
Transcript
A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"
Monday October 15,
2001
Tags #stock market expert, #buy stocks, #fundamentals, #go on tv
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Dogbert is standing on his desk. Dogbert says, "I'd be a good stock market expert." Dogbert continues, "I'd buy stocks and then go on TV and recommend them so they go up." Dilbert asks, "What about the fundamentals?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't get more fundamental than that!"