Stress Counselor Comic Strips - Page 8
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97 Results for Stress Counselor
View 71 - 80 results for stress counselor comic strips. Discover the best "Stress Counselor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 05,
2010
Tags #coworker, #change, #website, #case, #frustrated, #beaurocracy, #yell, #pill, #placebo, #technology
Transcript
Woman says, "I need a minor change to our website." Wally says, "Give me your business case for the change and I'll prioritize it for the queue." Woman says, "I don't have time to write a business case for one little change." Wally says, "I can't justify changing my priorities without one." Woman says, "GAAAA!!! Why can't we do the simplest things in this stupid company???!" Wally says, "Try one of these corporate post-traumatic stress pills to dull your memory of these events." Woman says, "What? Where am I? Who are you?" Wally says, "You were just leaving." Wally says, "They're placebos, but I find that they solve 20% of my problems."
Sunday December 03,
2006
Transcript
"Alice, you need to use up your vacation days before the end of the year." "You told me I had to finish my project before the end of the year." "I have 19 vacation days to use and there are 19 work days left in the year." "That leaves zero days to do 19 days worth of work." "You could work on weekends and use weekdays for vacation." "Why the @#$% would I do that?!!" "Because vacations reduce your stress. Duh." "You'd think that would be obvious." "AAIEEE!!!" PUNCH!!!
Monday February 03,
2014
Tags #baked products, #coaches & coaching, #stress, #will power is finite, #cake for lunch, #coaching session, #long hours
Transcript
Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.
Tuesday February 04,
2014
Tags #dieting & weight control, #stress, #overeating, #willpower, #downside, #20 year reduction, #life expectency
Transcript
Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?
Thursday February 06,
2014
Tags #anger, #stress, #alice, #computer, #office, #always stressed out, #employees, #introdcutions, #glass box, #reactions, #warning, #technology, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.
Wednesday February 26,
2014
Tags #public speaking, #stress, #10 thousand attendees, #don't be stressed, #nervous, #fall apart, #speech, #large audience
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."
Friday March 07,
2014
Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition, #science
Transcript
Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.
Wednesday March 26,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #stress, #consultant, #booze muhkidney, #business travel, #nightmare, #business
Transcript
Boss: I hired a consultant from the respected firm Booz Muhkidney. Consultant: My life is a nightmare of business travel, loneliness, and sleep deprivation. I'm only 25 years old! Boss: It's a travel day. He'll calm down after he drinks lunch.
Thursday March 27,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #stress, #consultant, #booze muhkidney, #travel work, #unhealthy food, #total failure, #sleepless nights, #power point slides, #business
Transcript
Consultant: All I do is travel, work, and eat unhealthy food. I'm a total failure at managing my own life, and yet people hire me for business advice. I haven't slept since October. Dilbert: I was told there would be PowerPoint slides. Consultant from Booze Muhkidney
Friday March 28,
2014
Tags #illness, #stress, #culture of consulting fiorms, #flat linig, #false larm, #graphs
Transcript
Consultant: I haven't slept since October because the culture of consulting firms is anti-health. I'm flat-lining! False alarm. I'm back. Who wants to make some graphs?