Swim Back Comic Strips - Page 8

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676 Results for Swim Back

View 71 - 80 results for swim back comic strips. Discover the best "Swim Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #theoretically impossible, #looped back, #mobs strip, #to- do list, #had a pencil

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Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics

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Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #civil liberties, #law enforcement officers, #surveillance, #stole sensitive info, #spy software, #stealing back

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NSA Agent: You hacked into a government database and stole sensitive information. Dilbert: Technically, it was my company's information that your spy software stole first. I was just stealing it back. So we're good here, right? NSA Agent: Yeah, that's how it works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

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CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2013's comic on:


Tags #burglars & robbers, #frustration, #lab, #stealing back cables, #worse problem, #boss, #adds fuel to fire

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Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #acting ceo, #back slapping, #firing people, #slaps off roof, #abuse of power, #sacrifice

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Acting CEO Boss: No one told me what I'm supposed to do in this job. Catbert: 80% of the job is back-slapping and firing people. Boss: Good job, Ted. But not good enough.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #career, #success, #who you know, #know losers, #promising career, #holding me back

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Wally: Success depends on who you know. I only know losers such as you, so thanks for nothing. Dilbert; I'm sorry I ruined your promising career. Wally: You're holding me back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #job interview, #spare time, #questions, #visit orphanges, #back rubs, #babies, #practiced question

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JOB INTERVIEW Boss: So... what do you like to do in your spare time? Interviewee: Um... I visit orphanages and give back rubs to babies. Boss: Maybe you should have practiced for that question. Interviewee: And I bike there because I'm so green.

Get Off Wally's Back!

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Get Off Wally's Back! - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #anger, #deadlines, #laziness, #mean, #work ethic, #yelling

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Coworker: Wally, did you finish the... Wally: Get off my back! Why can't you just trust me to do my work on time?!?! Coworker: Sorry... Dilbert: Who were you yelling at? Wally: Beats me. It didn't seem important.

Asok Asks For His Job Back

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Asok Asks For His Job Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #driver, #money, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #disillusionment

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Asok: I'm here to beg for my job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than I'd hoped. My mental health and my bladder have been stretched to their limits. Boss: Maybe we could discuss this over a tiled floor area.