Teach Children Comic Strips - Page 8

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152 Results for Teach Children

View 71 - 80 results for teach children comic strips. Discover the best "Teach Children" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #noriko, #bob, #dinosaur, #the boss, #explaining, #generation, #simple, #Political, #power, #adults, #planet, #lifted, #briefs, #spun, #twirling wedgie

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Noriko: Stop right there, mister adult! You've got some explaining to do to my generation. The Boss: It's quite simple, really children have no political power. So we adults can plunder the planet, run up huge debts, then die and fat and happy! Noriko: I've never seen anybody lifted by his briefs and spun in the air like that. Bob: That's my "twirling wedgie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I'm sending you to our plant in Elbonia. I want you to teach them 'quality.'" The Boss continues, "I selected you because you've been there and you know their language." Dilbert replies, "They speak English." The Boss says, "Oh, then I guess it's because I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #management, #business consulting

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Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #worklife balance, #company

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Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'm working too many hours . . . I never spend time with my family." The Boss holds up a brochure and replies, "The company cares. That's why we've developed a program to teach you how to cope." Alice reads the pamphlet, "Celibacy and adoption - the choice for the nineties."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #seminar

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #instructor, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #seminar, #managers, #Wally

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The instructor asks, "Who will be first to brave the hot coals?" Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand together. The man pulls Wally out of the crowd and says, "You will teach the others by example." The instructor says as there is an explosion in the background, "Now, what you learn from Wally's example is: don't use alcohol-based after-shave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #run comapony, #only female engineer, #watch discrimination, #coffee wenches

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand outside a conference room holding folders. Alice says, "In a way, I'm glad the Elbonians run this company now." As they take their seats at the conference table, Alice smiles and says, "After years of being the only female engineer I'll enjoy watching the Elbonians discriminate against you guys." The Elbonian sitting next to Alice hands her a mug and says, "I didn't realize you had coffee wenches in this country too." Alice looks furious. Wally says to the Elbonian, "I hope you don't want children, Yorgi." A caption reads, "Continued . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #admore, #vocalize admiration, #leathery skin, #right from left, #get paid, #admire co workers

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dollars, #inventing, #secret, #better, #classify, #send, #space, #stuff, #kill, #smoking, #drugs, #open-minded

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars." A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape." The caption says, "Inventing secret things." Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it." The caption says, "Sending secret things into space." The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff." The caption says, "Education." A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ." The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate." Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'" The caption says, "Advanced health care." Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing." The caption says, "Paying Congress." A senator says, "Our raises came through!" Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dances, #dancing dogs, #go wild, #healed, #healthy, #invoice, #poems, #primal screams, #tech me, #total well being

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."