Team Players Comic Strips - Page 8
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Character
227 Results for Team Players
View 71 - 80 results for team players comic strips. Discover the best "Team Players" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags #brand, #company name, #finding a team, #reputation, #new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."
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Friday March 31,
2006
Tags #marketing guru, #tractor sized mp3 players, #free ipod, #pricing
Transcript
The Marketing Guru "Consumers will buy our tractor-sized mp3 players if we offer something free with each one." "So we'll offer a free iPod with each sale, and free towing to the landfill for our mp3 player." "The rest is just pricing."
Tuesday April 04,
2006
Tags #team building exercise, #security gurad, #middle of desert, #leave you there
Transcript
"Ted, I'm sending you on a team-building exercise." "A security guard will drive you to the middle of the desert and leave you there!" "And then the team will rescue me?" "Sure."
Wednesday April 05,
2006
Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok
Transcript
"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"
Friday April 07,
2006
Tags #team building exercise, #left die, #crying, #shake it off, #boss, #apathetic
Transcript
"You said it was a team-building exercise and you left me in the middle of the desert to die!" "Shake it off." "You wouldn't think that would work, but it does!"
Tuesday April 11,
2006
Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special
Transcript
I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."
Sunday July 30,
2000
Tags #candidate for engineering, #resume, #invented e-commerce, #hire now, #team that invented, #teach paul, #to invent things
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Help me interview a candidate for engineering." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I think he's terrific!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Uh-oh." During the interview, Dilbert says to the candidate, "According to your resume, Paul, you invented e-commerce." The Boss says, "Wow!" The Boss then exclaims, "I'm going to hire him right now!" Dilbert replies, "Hold on." Dilbert says to Paul, "Paul, you didn't really invent e-commerce, did you?" Paul ansers, "Well..." Paul continues, "Maybe I was...um...part of the team that invented it." Dilbert, now agitated, yells "No one invented e-commerce!" The Boss, completely oblivious to all that 's been said asks Paul, "When can you start?" Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why am I here?" The Boss responds, "Maybe Paul can teach you how to invent things."
Saturday September 29,
2012
Tags #executives, #meetings, #new team, #company change startegy, #meetings turn awkward
Transcript
CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?
Tuesday October 16,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #wages, #saved company millions, #no bonus, #ceo plans, #500 million, #acquisitions, #go team, #money
Transcript
Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!
Saturday November 24,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #projects, #meetings, #ambiguous golas, #no budget, #angry team, #overworked people
Transcript
Boss: How's your project going? Dilbert: Do you mean the one that has no management support, ambiguous goals, no budget, and an angry team of overworked people who want it to die? Boss: No, the other one. Dilbert: Sometimes there isn't an "other one."