Team Members Comic Strips - Page 8
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241 Results for Team Members
View 71 - 80 results for team members comic strips. Discover the best "Team Members" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 01,
2003
Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."
Friday March 19,
2004
Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support
Transcript
Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."
Sunday September 12,
1999
Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id
Transcript
Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"
Wednesday January 19,
2005
Tags #gay boss, #nelson, #male, #no bomus, #train to be boss, #support family, #gay, #dating rugby team
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, this is your new supervisor, Nelson. You'll be training him to be your boss. The Boss: There won't be any bonuses this year because i gave it all to nelson. he's a man, sio he needs to support a family. Nelson: Im gay The Boss: Um....civil union and adoption, right? Nelson: Im dating a rugby team.
Saturday March 12,
2005
Tags #dont worry, #high crime area, #experts assure you, #gange members, #exhautsed, #beat up
Transcript
CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."
Friday April 08,
2005
Tags #handpicked, #team, #no budget, #laziness, #least effirt, #yvonne, #hotness, #power over men, #manipulated by all, #good meeting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: "I hand-picked you two for my team becasue we have no budget." "Wally, your laziness helps you accomplish the most work with the least effort. Yvonne, your hotness give syou the power to make men do what you want for nothing." "So, then Yvonne convinced me to do her work and Wally went on disability leave." Dogbert: "But otherwise, a good meeting?"
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags #brand, #company name, #finding a team, #reputation, #new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."
Tuesday April 04,
2006
Tags #team building exercise, #security gurad, #middle of desert, #leave you there
Transcript
"Ted, I'm sending you on a team-building exercise." "A security guard will drive you to the middle of the desert and leave you there!" "And then the team will rescue me?" "Sure."
Wednesday April 05,
2006
Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok
Transcript
"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"
Friday April 07,
2006
Tags #team building exercise, #left die, #crying, #shake it off, #boss, #apathetic
Transcript
"You said it was a team-building exercise and you left me in the middle of the desert to die!" "Shake it off." "You wouldn't think that would work, but it does!"