Technology Strategy Comic Strips - Page 8
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View 71 - 80 results for technology strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Technology Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 09, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss asks Dilbert, "Did you know that twenty percent of all microfleems are subradiante?" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. The Boss has latched onto some obscure engineering fact." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be painful." The Boss says, "Just think of the implications. It means eighty percent of microfleems are NOT subradiante." Dilbert crawls under his desk thinking, "Maybe I can hide under the desk until this blows over." The Boss continues, "Don't you think it's fascinating? I mean, what with the implications and all . . ." Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay. I acknowledge your incredible grasp of technology issues." The Boss walks away thinking, "It almost makes me curious what a microfleem is."
Share May 16, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."
Share June 06, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss won't tell me our company's strategy." Dilbert says, "So I spend my days wandering from cubicle to cubicle, trying to deduce the strategy." Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "So far I've ruled out 'First to market.'" Wally responds, "And premiere anything."
Share June 18, 1998's comic on:
Alice, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss says, "Our top executives are in a special strategy lockup meeting." The Boss continues, "The meeting won't end until they agree on a new strategy, so it might be a while." Janitor places a broom in handle of the meeting room door and thinks, "Maybe if I wedge my broom here I won't forget where I put it."
Share February 06, 1994's comic on:
"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."
Share July 13, 1998's comic on:
The Boss, his son, and Dilbert. The Boss points at his son and says, "I hired my son to manage our Technology Development Group." The Boss continues, "He's young, but I'm almost positive he went to college." Dilbert and The Boss' son walk away. Dilbert says, "Where did you go to college?" The Boss' son replies, "Actually, I hid in the attic for four years."
Share July 17, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert at his computer terminal. The Boss says, "Is your project plan done?" Diblert ressonds, "I can't do a plan until you tell me the strategy." The Boss says, "My strategy is to make you do a plan." Dilbert stares at his computer. The Boss walks away and thinks, "Sometimes the leadership just radiates from my body."
Share December 11, 1998's comic on:
The boss gives Wally and Dilbert a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I did some financial modeling on my own." Wally says, "But you didn't know any of the assumptions that went into the original spread sheet." The Boss says, "That didn't stop me from developing a strategy." Dilbert says, "Our pay is based on the tax rate now."
Share July 03, 1994's comic on:
"What are you drawing, Dogbert? "I'm creating a comic book called, 'The Adventures of Boron'." "'The most boring man in the entire Universe'." "Boron looks like me." "Geez, what an ego you have." "In chapter one, Boron slays the entire marketing department by explaining asynchronous protocols." "I think it's high time we engineers got a little respect in this society!" "Furthermore, there are many advantages to asynchronous transfer mode switch technology!" "First, there's bandwidth..."
Share January 01, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands next to Wally's desk and says, "Wally, you never really answered the question I left on your voicemail." Dilbert asks, "Is this a case of simple incompetence or a preview of something far more sinster?" Wally replies, "It's the sinister one." Wally explains, "I've adopted a defensive strategy. I'm withholding information to make myself appear more valuable." Wally continues, "Now I only return phone calls late at night and leave incomplete answers." Wally continues, "In person, I act overworked and irrational so people stop asking questions." Wally continues, "If cornered, I sigh deeply and recount old war stories that don't relate to the question." Wally concludes, "No co-worker can thwart me!" Dilbert asks, "What if they team up?" Behind Wally's back, Alice reaches over the wall and grabs Wally's CPU. She thinks, "Got it!"