Ted Fired Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for ted fired comic strips. Discover the best "Ted Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking, #project management, #life cycle, #abtraction, #weightless, #management process

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Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #roboshark, #cubicle distance, #12 feet, #territorial waters, #robot, #scare tactics

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Alice: Stop using the aisle behind my cubicle. It's distracting. Everything within twelve feet of my cubicle are my territorial waters. Ted: You can't enforce that. Alice: Tell that to my roboshark.

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Share March 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #viruses, #piranha flu, #sneezes, #bad allergies

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Carol: I've got a wicked case of piranha flu. Ted: I've never heard of... Carol: Ahchooo!!! I should probably tell people I just have bad allergies.

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Share June 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #tupac video, #holgram, #data cloud, #economical

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Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.

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Share July 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #other board members, #10 million

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Dogbert: Venture capitalists gave us $10 million, but I had to agree to put one ion them on board. TED: Should I be worried that your other board members have a combined I.Q of about 70? Dogbert: They weren't dumb enough to give me $10 million dollars. alligator: Burn!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing

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Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."

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Share December 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"

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Share June 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."

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Share August 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #happy face, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #ratbert, #booked, #new york, #saint theresa

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Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"

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Share August 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #appearance, #refrigerator, #people, #Dogbert, #traveled, #miracle, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #jar, #elvis, #jello, #king

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A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"