Teds Input Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

97 Results for Teds Input

View 71 - 80 results for teds input comic strips. Discover the best "Teds Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

"So, Asok, what have you heard about Ted's project?" "He seems to be in over his head and he's blaming you for cutting the wrong budget." "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me." "Now now, Carol. I'm working my new snitch."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2007's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

Have you signed Ted's get well card yet? "Don't leave that here. Ted passed away two weeks ago. How long have you had the card on your desk?" "Have you signed Ted's get well card yet?" "Put it on the pile."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2013's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #ignorance (knowledge), #product features, #hodge podge, #complexity, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added all of the product features that each of you demanded. Now our product is a worthless hodgepodge of complexity. I appreciate your input. I couldn't have failed without you. Boss: Teamwork!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2010's comic on:

Tags #ted, #wrong, #termination, #fired, #documents, #security access, #passwords, #fix, #fugitive, #security, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2010's comic on:

Tags #savings, #ted, #budget, #project, #fail, #destroy, #suggestion, #help, #pain, #worse, #hurt, #mouth open, #yell

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "You added the savings from my project to the budge for Ted's project." Alice says, "Ted is a serial failer. You've destroyed in advance any hope that I might do something useful." The Boss says, "Maybe you could help Ted on his project." Alice says, "Ow! Ow! Making it worse!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2010's comic on:

Tags #presentation, #14%, #projector screen, #label, #ceo, #dry run

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I based my estimate on the reliable input of people who just wanted me to leave them alone." Dilbert says, "I decided against labeling it because I'll probably need some deniability later." Dilbert says, "Are we done with the dry run, or do you want me to use up all of my energy before our CEO gets here?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2009's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #assignment, #partner, #annoyed, #calling, #human resources, #frustrated, #angry, #offended, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2009's comic on:

Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2008's comic on:

Tags #boss request, #help coworker, #own work, #projects, #projects suffer, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to help Ted on his project. Dilbert: If Ted's project succeeds, who will get the credit? The Boss: Ted will. It's his project. Dilbert: What if it fails? The Boss: That would be your fault for not helping him enough. Dilbert: If I spend my time helping Ted, my own projects will suffer. The only way this makes sense is if my projects are unimportant and so am I. The Boss: If it makes you feel any better, Ted and his projects are unimportant too.