Ten Comic Strips - Page 8
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222 Results for Ten
View 71 - 80 results for ten comic strips. Discover the best "Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 30,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #news, #jobs, #billion, #owls, #asteroid, #coincidence, #researchers, #television, #device, #idiots
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."
Wednesday May 05,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #mannequin, #store, #retail, #clerk, #avoidance, #name tag
Transcript
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Some people might be fooled by your pretending to be a store mannequin." The man stares straight ahead and stands still. Dilbert continues, "But I saw you hide your name tag. I know you're a retail clerk who is trying to avoid helping me." Dilbert yells, "Hey! You're moving toward the 'employees only' door. Stop it! You won't get away with this!!" The clerk thinks, "Ten more feet."
Sunday July 15,
2012
Tags #all worked up, #complain about attitude, #escalated, #low priority tasks, #emergency
Transcript
Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.
Tuesday November 30,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #mentoring, #matt, #co worker
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Matt is fresh out of engineering school. You'll be his mentor." The Boss continues, "Whatever you do, don't crush his spirit before Wednesday." Dilbert asks, "Why put it off so long?" The Boss replies, "Because I bet ten bucks we could string him along until Thursday."
Friday March 25,
1994
Tags #world ends, #year 2000, #creator, #universe, #counting system, #round numbers, #feeling anxiety, #dog, #rat, #conversation, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert: "I'm predicting the world will end in the year 2000." "The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." "So you really want to avoid being, let's say, in mobile home number 1,000,000 in the year 2000." Ratbert: "I'm feeling anxiety."
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Thursday November 17,
1994
Tags #paperless office concept, #restroom situation
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Since implementing our 'paperless office' concept, we've saved . . ." The Boss looks at a figure written on the back of his hand and says, "Uh . . . ten percent!" Wally looks at his arm and says, "Next on the agenda: the restroom situation . . ."
Wednesday January 04,
1995
Tags #united charity, #below average, #pay level, #income, #local agroups, #approved list, #team player, #fund agency, #away from scoiety
Transcript
Wally stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. Wally is reading a piece of paper and says to Dilbert, "Your contributions to 'United Charity' are below average for your pay level." Dilbert says, "Actually, I donate ten percent of my income and thousands of hours to local groups not on your approved list." Wally writes on the sheet, ". . . Not a team player." Dilbert says, "I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society."
Tuesday May 09,
1995
Tags #dating, #lucky, #replace you, #same scale, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert and Liz sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I'm so lucky to be dating you, Liz. You're at least an eight." Liz responds, "You're a ten." Dilbert and Liz sit looking at the mountains in silence. Dilbert asks, "Are we using the same scale?" Liz responds, "Ten is the number of seconds it would take to replace you."
Friday October 06,
1995
Tags #captain dogbert, #good news, #bad news, #hotting town early, #actually hitting town, #crash warning, #corporate jet, #ceo, #dog, #animals
Transcript
The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."