Terrible Haircut Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

79 Results for Terrible Haircut

View 71 - 79 results for terrible haircut comic strips. Discover the best "Terrible Haircut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Wally Maintains The Network

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Idea Stealing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Idea Stealing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #manager, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What does everyone think of my idea? Dilbert: I suggested that same idea last week and you said it was terrible. Boss: Your idea was totally different because it involved you getting the credit.

Lying To Weasels

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusation, #catch-22, #rebuttal, #defensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Everyone says you aren't being a team player because you keep disagreeing with everything. Dilbert: Everyone does not say that, and I don't disagree with everything. Boss: There you go again. You'd be a terrible lawyer. Dilbert: Thank you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

Bad News I Can't Tell You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad News I Can't Tell You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #employees, #frustrated, #news, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!

Medicinal Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Medicinal Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #coffee, #health & safety, #medical, #side effects, #tolerance, #veins, #doctor

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in doctor's office: i drink so much coffee that i developed a tolerance for it. do you have any kind of medical-grade coffee that could take me to the next level? doctor: yes, but it has terrible side effects. wally: skip the details and shove it in my veins.

Dick Tells A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.