Three Questions Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

549 Results for Three Questions

View 71 - 80 results for three questions comic strips. Discover the best "Three Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #no revenue, #three months, #fire billing, #excellent performance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, your performance is excellent but I have to downsize you." Ted asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "Our billing system is so defective that we haven't made any revenue in three months." Ted asks, "Why don't you fire the billing department?" The Boss responds, "I did... three months ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three hole punch, #waltzing in, #borrowing things, #whack list, #demanding, #in exchange for, #hole punch

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #toxic tom, #new coworker, #potatoe, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new co- worker, Toxic Tom." The Boss continues, "He complained about his last job all through his interview. But he'll be happy here." Once The Boss is gone, Toxic Tom says to Dilbert, "He says he thinks you're stupid because you ask too many questions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser magazine, #pen, #easy questions, #borrow pen, #chewer, #denied loan

View Transcript

Transcript

The reporter approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'd like to interview you for 'Loser Magazine.'" Wally responds, "Okay." The reporter asks, "Do you have a pen?" Wally says, "Wow. These are easy questions." The reporter says, "I mean, may I borrow your pen?" Wally responds, "No, you look like a chewer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work three hours, #quality of life, #gigantic raise, #good time

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "Would it be okay if I worked three hours a week?" "Any more than three and my quality of life takes a steep dive." "Secondly, is this a good time to talk about a gigantic raise?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career day, #questions, #careers, #connected dots, #generational

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day The Boss: ...and thats why you should have a pre meeting before every meeting. any questions? Girl: how long will my generation need to work? The Boss: Sixty years. I see that you've connected the dots.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dental evidence, #hired manager, #the hotline, #ethics questions, #ethics manager

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The company has hired an manager." "If you have any ethics questions, call the hotline." Dogbert: "That's fine, as long as you get rid of the dental evidence."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #having massive layoffs, #new server, #reorganization, #three divisons

View Transcript

Transcript

You'll want our new server software after your reorganization. "Reorganization?" "Next week you're having massive layoffs and eliminating three divisions." "Your "I haven't heard anything" face needs works."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salesman, #questions, #best running shoe, #sneakers are sneakers, #far superior, #expensive ones

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"