Trim Middle Management Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

370 Results for Trim Middle Management

View 71 - 80 results for trim middle management comic strips. Discover the best "Trim Middle Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #turnaround ceo, #value based, #management, #perspective, #training dept, #exceeds cost

View Transcript

Transcript

A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #huge liars, #management in person, #dogbert investments

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert investments: Dogbert and Alice are in a meeting. Dogbert says: "Before I invest in a stock, I talk to the management in person." Alice says: "What good is that? They're all huge liars." Dogbert says: "You believe I really talk to them, right?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees fertilizer, #management, #organism, #plant, #survive and grow, #weasels, #dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Dogbert Consults." The Boss is leaning back in his chair and listening to Dogbert who is standing on the Boss's desk. Dogbert advises: "Management is like an organism that needs to survive and grow." He continues: "Employees are your fertilizer." The Boss asks: "So I'm like a well-fertilized plant?" Dogbert answers: "No, and sadly, weasels don't need fertilizer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #higher drag coefficient, #interns head, #quantify benefits, #knowledge management

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #beef eating, #just stress, #mandatory cpr, #middle aged men, #training for emplyees, #pear shaped

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #casual dress day, #hurting productivity, #need to cancel, #real problems, #irrational management, #comfortable plants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Casual Dress Day is hurting our productivity. We need to cancel it." Catbert says, "Is it possible that our real problems are caused by irrational management?" The Boss says, "No, I think comfortable pants are the problem." Catbert says, "Sounds right."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #rifle though pockets, #meditate, #mixed with management

View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor is examining The Boss as Dilbert says, "I think he tried to meditate." The doctor says, "That's the problem." The doctor continues examining The Boss and says to Dilbert, "You shouldn't mix meditation with management. The mind gets too empty." Dilbert asks, "What can we do?" The doctor says, "I plan to rifle through his pockets."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #praised alice, #lying, #stealing.no choice, #promote, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "I inadvertently gave Alice verbal praise." Catbert asks, "Is she addicted?" The Boss says, "She's been lying and stealing to get more." Catbert replies, "She leaves us no choice." The Boss says to Alice, "I have to promote you to management."