True Tables Comic Strips - Page 8

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122 Results for True Tables

View 71 - 80 results for true tables comic strips. Discover the best "True Tables" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2006's comic on:


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"Alice, I've received some complaints that you have been bonking the heads of marketing people on tables." "Where else should I bonk their heads? Tables are the best places!!!" "I don't think I'm getting through." "The chair is way too soft!"

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There's a rumor that you're dead. Is it true? "He'll be missed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Is it true that you allowed a vampire to run the blood drive?" "Yes, and it takes a big man to admit he's wrong." "You admit you were wrong?" "I decided to lose weight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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Share June 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #workplace rumours, #idiot, #false rumor, #charging for rumors

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Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

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Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #brain, #part of brain, #controls morality, #the natural, #glows from within

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Dilbert says, "My doctor says everything is fine except for the part of my brain that controls morality." The Boss says, "Gasp! The management prophesies are true. You must be the one they call..." Catbert says, "THE NATURAL?!!" The Boss says, "He glows from within."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #chart, #appeased, #astonished, #stupidity

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Dilbert says, "I didn't have anything useful to say so I made this pie chart." the boss says, "Oooh!" Woman says, "Oooh!" CEO says, "It must be true because it's pie." Dilbert thinks, "That worked too well." people say, "I pledge my life and fortune to the pie!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #therapist, #imagination, #prank, #lying down, #cruel, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "I worry that the bolzmann brain hypothesis is true and my reality is entirely imagined." Dilbert says, "But if I'm imagining my life, why don't I imagine better things happening to me?" Therapist thinks, "I'll probably regret this practical joke." Mmmm

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."