Unethical Behavior Comic Strips - Page 8

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83 Results for Unethical Behavior

View 71 - 80 results for unethical behavior comic strips. Discover the best "Unethical Behavior" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2006's comic on:


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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

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"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #criticize bahavior, #monkey on crack, #moron

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Boss: Criticize the behavior, not the person. The email you sent to everyone looks as if it had been written by a monkey on crack. Just to be clear, you are terrific, but everything you do is exactly what a moron would do.

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

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Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry

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CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

Emotionally Manipulative Robot

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Emotionally Manipulative Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #evil, #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #technology gone bad, #upgrade, #killing machine

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The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.

Emotionally Manipulative Robot Warranty

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Emotionally Manipulative Robot Warranty - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #upsell, #warranty

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The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: It isn't too late to buy an extended warranty for me. I mean, wow! Think about the enormous expense of fixing me if something unexpected happens. If you need me, I'll be on a wobbly ladder, changing light bulbs near the pool

Dilbert Is Not Anti Social

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Dilbert Is Not Anti Social - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #introvert, #judgement, #extrovert, #judging, #criticism, #isolation, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Tina: Why are you antisocial? Dilbert: I do't oppose the concept of social behavior. I just don't enjoy being with people. Tina: That's dumb. Dilbert: Case in point.

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!