Unfunded Man Date Comic Strips - Page 8

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1000 Results for Unfunded Man Date

View 71 - 80 results for unfunded man date comic strips. Discover the best "Unfunded Man Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #looks, #invented, #molecule, #bifurcation, #communicator, #einstein, #thought, #physicist, #john, #stuart, #fleshed, #1964, #calculation, #error

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The garbage man says to Dilbert, "From the looks of your garbage, you've invented some sort of molecule bifurcation communicator." The garbage man continues, "Ah, yes, Einstein thought this type of thing might work. Physicist John Stuart Bell kind of fleshed it out in 1964. But you've really added something . . ." The garbage man points to a scrap of paper and says, "Specifically, you've added this calculation error here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #photograph, #Dilbert, #man, #invented, #something, #entire, #product, #obsolete, #plan, #wax, #desk, #hair, #work

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A man shows a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "His name is Dilbert. He invented something that would make our entire product line obsolete." The man behind the desk asks, "Do you have a plan?" The employee replies, "Uh . . . I could wax your desk with my hair again." The man says, "It's just crazy enough to work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #looking, #hit, #man, #eliminate, #inventor, #million, #dollars, #deliver, #head, #platter, #tupperware, #lettuce, #crispers, #loses, #drama

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Dogbert sits across from a man behind a desk. Dogbert says, "I heard you're looking for a hit man to eliminate an inventor named Dilbert." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can deliver his head on a platter." The man asks, "Does it have to be on a platter?" Dogbert replies, "I've tried using those Tupperware lettuce crispers, but it loses a lot of the drama."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #photo, #proof, #completed, #hit-man, #contract, #Dilbert, #sitting, #lifeless, #stuffed, #chair, #looks, #watching, #technically, #kill, #prove, #life

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Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #date-a-base, #Women, #nice, #guy, #quotes, #donahue, #sincere, #expand, #primates

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Dogbert stands on a chair using a computer while Dilbert watches. Dogbert says, "I'll search my Date-a-Base for women who want a nice guy and don't care about looks." Dogbert says, "All I'm getting are some quotes from guests on 'Donahue,' but they don't seem sincere." Dogbert continues, "Maybe if I expand the search to include all primates . . ." Dilbert asks, "Why did you add 'don't care about looks?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #employee, #information, #binder, #saliva, #page-turning, #hand, #pages, #stuck

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Dilbert sits at a table with a bearded man. The man says, "Let me show you where the information is in your binder." The man licks his fingers and says, "First, I'll need a good load of saliva on my page-turning hand." Dilbert says, "Maybe you can show me in YOUR binder." The man replies, "Can't . . . Somehow my pages got all stuck together."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #third, #date, #casually, #mention, #hidden, #deformities, #horrible, #secrets, #dating, #mob boss

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "This is it . . . The critical third date." Dilbert thinks, "This is when they casually mention any hidden deformities or horrible secrets to see if you still like them." The woman says, "Some people say you should stop dating after you marry a mob boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #date, #intimidated, #two-headed, #conjoined twins, #telepathic, #naughty, #mind reading

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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "Our last blind date was intimidated just because we're two-headed and telepathic." Dilbert thinks, "Must clear my mind. Don't think of anything naughty." Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The woman spills her drink.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #zombies, #coffee, #office

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Dogbert stands on top of a beverage container and says, "To be a zombie you must drink the zombie elixir." Dogbert continues, "The zombie elixir will remove any distracting thoughts of sleep or family life." A man looks in his mug and says, "It looks like coffee." Dogbert holds a giant spoon of sugar and says, "You have to add one scoop of zombie sugar."