Unimportant Tasks Comic Strips - Page 8

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86 Results for Unimportant Tasks

View 71 - 80 results for unimportant tasks comic strips. Discover the best "Unimportant Tasks" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #replacing system, #outdated, #gamification, #hot new trend, #employees wins, #badges, #ribbons, #awrds, #cash value, #garbage, #emotional value

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Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cleaning, #engineers, #coal break room, #highest priority, #mold grow, #mutating bacteria, #rapidly eveolved, #sentient being, #fueled by lunch, #learned languages, #job in hr, #plans on firing, #inappropriate websites

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Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #job, #job description, #managers, #manipulation, #taking advantage, #task, #whiney quitter, #resourceful entrepreneur, #personal growth, #outside the box, #key to greatness, #assigning wrong people, #mow lawn, #business

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Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote

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Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul

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What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #sentient, #feelings, #emotion, #hurt, #vulnerability, #machine, #robot

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Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

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Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

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Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

How Work Is Going

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How Work Is Going - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work, #existence, #happiness, #fulfillment, #frustration, #job, #business, #psychology

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Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.

Fifty Slide Presentation

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Fifty Slide Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #tasks, #presentation, #expectation, #unrealistic, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #workspace, #noise, #cubicle, #open floorplan, #etiquette, #fingernails, #toenails

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Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Asok Learns To Rank Priorities

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Asok Learns To Rank Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #priorities, #Advice, #hate, #misanthrope, #misanthropy, #organization

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Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.