Use Integration Comic Strips - Page 8
607 Results for Use Integration
View 71 - 80 results for use integration comic strips. Discover the best "Use Integration" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 23, 2011's comic on:
Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.
Share May 12, 2012's comic on:
Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!
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Share June 10, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Share June 17, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.
Share June 30, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm a patent troll, but you can call me a non-practicing entity. For a huge fee, I will use my patents to thwart the companies that are trying to thwart you with their own patents. Together we can strangle innovation and plunge civilization into the dark ages! Boss: That would even the playing field.
Share July 08, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.
Share May 08, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."
Share August 10, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."
Share October 18, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a desk writing a letter. Dogbert asks, "Who are you writing to?" Dilbert replies, "My uncle Max, the policeman." Dogbert says, "You can't write to a cop on regular size paper! You have to use legal size paper!" Dilbert says, "Don't panic." Dogbert says, "I get it -- he looks the other way for family members." Dilbert says as he puts money in the envelope, "I send a bribe."