User Names Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

108 Results for User Names

View 71 - 80 results for user names comic strips. Discover the best "User Names" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #co owrker, #favor, #being b=nice, #nick names, #spitting on grave, #not dead

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furry log, #nick name, #cute names, #creating hostile environment, #squirrel infested stump

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, did you call the director of human resources a "furry log"?" Alice: "Yes" The Boss: "I can't tell if you're promoting teamwork with a cute nickname or creating a hostile environment." "Which is it?" Alice: "It's teamwork, you squirrel-infested stump."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat problem, #reporting, #rat bait, #unwashed, #job satisfaction, #calling names, #being mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults "Your time machine is a fraud, but no one needs to know." "With a few minor modifications, the user will vanish, and everyone will assume it worked." "This is in case you don't completely vanish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This product will leapfrog the iPod and provide pleasure to all five of your senses." "The user can download pictures, smells, tastes, and celebrity tickling patterns." "The test group preferred it over eating. They're all dead." "It has the coolness factor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tool belt, #wear, #date, #squirrel satellite dish, #user

View Transcript

Transcript

woman: "Dilbert, when you come over tonight, wear your toolbelt." Dilbert says, "Because it's sexy?" woman: "That would be between you and the squirrel that keeps chewing the cable from my satellite dish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal fees, #lawsuit, #fee is 100%, #analog, #lawyer, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "How much do I owe you in legal fees for helping me win my lawsuit?" Dogbert says, "My fee is 100% of the jury award plus I get to call you names that sound worse than they are." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem fair." Dogbert says, "You're an analog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #deception, #lying confusion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "This is Phil, our new vice president of marginally legal activities." The boss says, "He'll be leading the effort to make our user interfaces so confusing that people have to pay us for training." Dilbert says, "We already do that unintentionally." The boss says, "Sure, but we can't always rely on luck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #testing, #recommendation, #pain, #angry, #screaming, #ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The results of out beta testing are in." Dilbert says, "Our user interface triggered wide-spread despondency and self-mutilation." Dilbert says, "Obviously we'll need to delay our launch for the public good." The boss says, "When did you become a communist?"