View Never Changes Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

702 Results for View Never Changes

View 71 - 80 results for view never changes comic strips. Discover the best "View Never Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #final report, #big changes, #too cowardly, #change names, #Advice, #behind back

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert, Wally, The Boss and Alice are at a meeting. Dogbert presents a report. Dogbert says, "This is my final report." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm recommending big, big changes..." The Boss reads the report. Dogbert says, "Because I know you're too cowardly to implement them." Wally says, "So...It will be our fault if nothing improves." Dogbert says, "Exactly." The Boss is excitedly reading. The Boss says, "AAAGH!! We can't do all of this!" The Boss says, "Couldn't we just change the names of all our departments?" Dogbert says, "Those imbeciles! How dare they ignore my advice!" Wally says, "You're supposed to say that to us behind our backs later." Dogbert says, "I'm in a hurry."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #overall startegy, #never ask questiom, #hear the answer

View Transcript

Transcript

How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #angelica jolie lips, #mp3 player, #must never soeak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Marketing Guru "Your mp3 player is large and scary, but I can fix that." "All it needs is a set of Angelina Jolie lips and everyone will love it." Six Months Later "We must never speak of this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday, #50 years old, #entire life, #delusional thing, #old man, #office, #computer, #aging, #dementia, #life changes, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Happy birthday. What's it feel like to be 50?" "It's great! I've never felt better in my entire life!" "So it's sort of a delusional thing?" "Yes, luckily."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #user interface, #add button, #random changes, #create illusion, #adding value

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Why did you add this button to the user interface? Dilbert: You told me to. The boss: Why would I tell you that? Dilbert: You always suggest random changes to create the illusion of adding value. The Boss: Well, remove that button. Dilbert: It's only on your copy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #free pubilcity, #never been done, #sir richard branson

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #twins, #meeting, #clone, #cooler clone, #clear view, #engine purr, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #never anticiptae, #first draft, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to help prepare me for my meeting tomorrow. Write up some answers to the questions we could never anticipate. Dilbert: I wouldn't expect much out of my first draft.