Water In A Box Comic Strips - Page 8

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228 Results for Water In A Box

View 71 - 80 results for water in a box comic strips. Discover the best "Water In A Box" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

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Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

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Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of green, #pumping toxic waste, #water supply, #giant mutated alliagtor, #destroyed factory, #competitors factory, #karma discredited, #pollute

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Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #victor, #quit, #project, #take over, #tools, #glowing box, #hold, #nightlight, #finish

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The Boss says, "Victor quit. I need you to take over his project." Dilbert says, "Did he leave any documentation?" The Boss says, "No, but it's obviously some sort of glowing box. That should be enough to get your started." The Boss says, "Can you finish it by Monday?" Dilbert says, "If it's a nightlight, I can finish it by today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #present, #software engineer, #give, #program, #product, #box, #hand, #receive, #look, #Features, #criticize, #depressed, #first copy

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #gadget, #sink attaches to body, #faucet on head, #running water, #work, #annoyed, #hearing, #yell

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Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questions, #business, #reasoning, #thinking, #plants

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Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #checked box, #drink more, #face lift, #long neck, #see over cubicles, #too high, #disproportinate

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"Then I found out there are two kinds of face-lifts." "I accidentally checked the box for the kind that lets you see over the top of your cubicle." "So I try to drink more, but that isn't working out either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dreams, #childhood dreams, #fabric covered box, #living proof, #Women, #don't like winners, #excuse for rejection

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Dilbert: "When I was a boy, I dreamed of one day working in a fabric-covered box." "I'm living proof that dreams can come true." "Women don't like winners either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public relations, #marketing claims, #tap water, #unleaded gasoline, #reanimate the dead, #lousy job, #job easier

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Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."