Search Results for "without reducing prodcutivity"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #seminar

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boss brain, #profitable, #cut costs, #selling products

View Transcript

Transcript

"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dimly lit cucbicle, #carpal tunnel, #crippled, #last job, #coal miner, #gas explosion, #new cubcile, #canary

View Transcript

Transcript

"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #big tech show, #curly haired guys, #salmon, #spawning opportunites, #vast sea, #indistinct products, #trade show, #facial hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #trade show registration, #rental beards, #not allowed, #pipe scented suspenders, #portly attendees

View Transcript

Transcript

Trade show registration ClerK : Men without facial hair are not allowed on the exhibition floor. We have rental beards for your convenience. That model comes with pipe-scented suspenders. Its very popular with our portly attendees.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #contribution to revenue, #project would fail, #attributed, #same project, #equally valuable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #destroying prodcutivity, #hire contract employees, #constractors, #humilaition

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #blame the media, #blow out proportion, #dispappear, #human nature, #third wife, #Wally, #free replacements

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You could offer free replacements for all the keyboards you sold without a 'Q,' or you could blame the media for blowing it out of proportion." Wally says, "Let's blame the media. They'll admit they were wrong and the whole thing will disappear." Dogbert says, "You have a brilliant grasp of human nature, Wally." Wally responds, "I know. My third wife always said the same thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #prodcutivity, #moving, #cubcile, #phone, #comaputer, #disconnected, #boxed, #lost, #abandoned pretense, #loser

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."