Won't Get Caught Comic Strips - Page 8

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415 Results for Won't Get Caught

View 71 - 80 results for won't get caught comic strips. Discover the best "Won't Get Caught" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9

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Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #disguise, #squirrels, #Dilbert, #garbage, #model, #computer, #chaos theory, #complex, #Alternative, #wild guess, #spy, #squirrel

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Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I know that my computer model is accurate, but nobody believes me when I predict that squirrels will conquer the earth." The garbage man replies, "Of course, you're aware that according to 'Chaos Theory' any complex iterative model is no better than a wild guess, even if the logic is perfect." Dilbert replies, "You're making that up." The garbage man says, "You caught me; I'm really a giant spy squirrel in disguise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #nineties, #puppet, #puppetitis, #date, #disease, #join, #hand

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I caught the disease puppetitis from somebody I dated." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "Ha ha! That's right! Now her hand is a puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hate the nineties." The woman's puppet hand says, "Join us . . . Don't be afraid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #Family, #rat, #drug, #testing, #change

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You've never accepted me in your family because I'm a little rat." Ratbert continues, "But I'll be testing a drug at the lab that will change that. No more little rat." Dilbert asks, "You won't be a rat?" Ratbert replies, "Don't tell me it's the 'rat' part that bothers you . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men

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Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #billion, #dollars, #earnings, #projections, #level, #donuts, #meetings

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #team, #spirit, #free, #time, #job, #motivate, #bogged, #down, #details

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "In order to build team spirit I've decided you should have lunch together once a week." The Boss continues, "I won't be there myself because it would seriously cut into my free time." The Boss continues, "Besides, it's my job to motivate, not get bogged down in the details."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #obsolete, #engineers, #down, #technology, #curve

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Dilbert says to Wally and Ted, "I'm so mad . . . I just bought a new computer and it's already obsolete." Wally replies, "Don't feel bad. The other engineers won't look down on you just because you're behind the technology curve." Ted says, "Yeah, we will." Wally replies, "Not right in front of him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #insult-o-gram, #ex-wife, #weather, #satellites, #photograph, #cloudy, #people, #recognize, #tipping, #situation

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A man answers his door and asks, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I have a Dogbert Insult-O-Gram from your ex-wife . . ." Dogbert says, "You're so ugly, weather satellites won't photograph your town unless it's cloudy." Dogbert says, "The smarter people recognize this as a tipping situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #promote, #technical, #primadonna, #disdain, #dummy, #inflatable, #question, #personal, #buddy

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Dilbert sits in a desk chair and Dogbert stands on the desk. Dogbert says, "Your boss won't promote you to 'Technical Prima Donna' until you learn disdain for others." Dogbert says, "Pretend this inflatable dummy is a co-worker asking a question. See how long you can ignore it. I'll check back later." Dilbert whispers to the dummy, "Psst. Nothing personal, buddy. This is just practice." Dogbert yells, "Hey! Hey!"