Worst Division Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

121 Results for Worst Division

View 71 - 80 results for worst division comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Division" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #set a conference call, #secretary's job, #carol, #ask question, #set up appointmet

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Asok, your pointy-haired boss wants you to set up a conference call with all the division managers." Asok: "Um... wouldn't that be his secretary's job? And aren't you his secretary?" Carol: "Hey, I know. Why don't you try to get an appointment with him so you can ask that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Gaaa! You put your gum on this recyclable waste material!!!" "How do you like it in your hair? Huh? Not so funny now is it, tree-killer!" "The worst part is that I envy him for being passionate about his job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new dress code, #consolidating, #offcies, #20 people cubicle, #impossible, #thin film pil, #no clothes, #bad conditions, #worst place work, #awards, #demoralize, #inhumane, #horrid conditions

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian divison, #do any work, #every minute, #hidden cameras, #randomly fire, #evil, #buttocks tingle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #engineers, #middleman, #worse case scenario, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternative fuel divison, #oil into watwer, #uninhabitable wasteland, #water into fuel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #killer robots, #spam filter, #ordered

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Do you really think it's a good idea to build killer robots just because our spam filter ordered you?" FZEEET! Dilbert says, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"