Any Issues Comic Strips - Page 80
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View 791 - 800 results for any issues comic strips. Discover the best "Any Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 24, 2017's comic on:
Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.
Share February 01, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you have any comments on the contract I emailed to you? Robot: Adjudicate the continuance of due diligence until an injunction repudiates the covenants. Dilbert: I was hoping for comments that make sense. Robot: You're thinking of a more expensive robot.
Share March 12, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Did you finish the wireframe I asked you to do last week? Man: I didn't hear from you, so I assumed you didn't need it. Dilbert: Lat week I asked you to do it and you said you would. Man: Right, but then I didn't hear from you again until now. Dilbert: There wasn't any reason to contact you because you said you would do it! Man: How was I supposed to know that? I assumed your silence meant you changed your mind. Dilbert; Can you finish it by next week? Man: Sure, if you don't pester me about it every minute.
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Share April 09, 2017's comic on:
Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.
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Share April 29, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.
Share April 30, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?
Share May 02, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.