Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 80

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I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."

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Hello! Hello! "Let me see that. I'm an engineer." "Hmm...It might be a bad signal or maybe a bad phone. There's only one way to isolate the problem." "Go up on the roof and see if you have reception there." "Dang. Nothing." "Uh-oh. The door is locked. No other way to get down...No one can hear me yell and my phone doesn't work." "My only hope is to jump into that open garbage bin in the alley." "That'll teach him to keep his battery charged."

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Tags court ordered, email records, deleted, system mainentance, wink wink, flirting, in on it, scam

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Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

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Tags hit man, killed, cover tracks, endless cycle, all free

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"The trouble with hiring a hit man is that you have to have him killed to cover your tracks." "Then you need a hit man to hit the guy who killed the hit man. It's an endless cycle!" "But ultimately, it's all free, right?"

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Tags buiness stragey, list, past years, no afraid of change, deserve bonus, generous, good looking, rhetorical question

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Our new business strategy is... "Hold on." "I made a list of all of our strategies for the past five years." "There have been seventeen of them." "What does that tell us?" "That I'm not afraid of change." "And that I've been working hard and I deserve a huge bonus." "And that I'm kind and generous and good looking." "You have to give him credit. The man knows how to answer a rhetorical question."

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Tags clone themsleves, unethical, morality, self causing, accepted norms, garbageman

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"Why is it unethical for humans to clone themselves?" "Morality is based on accepted norms. And accepted norms are based on morality." "It's self causing?" "Ironically, yes."

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Tags intermediate species, hominid, oyster, light sensitive blob, serious pearl

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"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."

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"My allergies are kicking up again." "GAAA!!!" "Good gravy, man! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!!" "Since you brought up the topic of health..." "When I was having my bones set, the doctor noticed that I have a detached colon." "My small intestines will eventually burrow up past my spleen and try to leave my body." "GAAA!!! HERE IT COMES!!!" gurgle "And don't get me started about my bunions."

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CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."

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"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"