Wally Comic Strips - Page 80
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1000 Results for Wally
View 791 - 800 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 10,
2012
Tags brain parasite, eliminate redundancy, executives, lying, mergers & acquisitions, more choices
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO has promised that the merger will cause no layoffs. Dilbert: Is that because he's too incompetent to eliminate obvious redundancies or is he just lying? Boss: Can you give me more choices? Dilbert: A brain parasite is making him say stupid stuff?
Sunday December 09,
2012
Tags hypocrisy, golden rule, test your rule, hypocrite, engineer, hatred, hypocricy, manipulate, engineering
Transcript
Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.
Sunday December 02,
2012
Tags cublicle, hours worked, judgement, long term projects, near term deliverables, negotiate, output, work ethic, work from home, holy grail
Transcript
Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.
Sunday November 25,
2012
Tags annoyance, screen savers, company logo, corporate rule, agenda, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.
Saturday November 24,
2012
Tags work ethic, projects, meetings, ambiguous golas, no budget, angry team, overworked people
Transcript
Boss: How's your project going? Dilbert: Do you mean the one that has no management support, ambiguous goals, no budget, and an angry team of overworked people who want it to die? Boss: No, the other one. Dilbert: Sometimes there isn't an "other one."
Friday November 16,
2012
Tags coffee & tea, exhaustion / tiredness, sploosh
Transcript
Coworker: I'm so tired today. Wally: Sorry. I get excited when people have problems that I know how to solve.
Monday November 12,
2012
Tags employees, improvement plan, 90 day, individual honor, valuable service, polite, thanks, business
Transcript
Ted: Guess who made it onto the generic ninety-day improvement plan. I don't think of it as an individual honor. I think of it as doing a valuable service for the team. Dilbert: Should we thank him? Wally: Are we polite now?
Sunday November 11,
2012
Tags meetings, work ethic, execution, innovation, full time job, excellence, inspired, died on inside, coffee and resentment, chemical formula for hatred, drilled employees
Transcript
Boss: Execution is a game of inches! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Innovation is everyone's full-time job! Be the dog, not the tail! Excellence is the only market that isn't crowded! Why don't any of you look inspired by my leadership? Wally: I died on the inside years ago. Now I'm just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment. This guy was born without a soul. The she-devil at the end is the chemical formula for hatred. Catbert: Did you get through to them? Boss: I drilled until I hit bile.
Monday November 05,
2012
Tags 3d printer, answer questions, modeling (sculpture), pointy haired boss
Transcript
Carol: Your pointy-haired boss wants to know if you tested the new 3-D printer yet. Why aren't you answering my question? Whatever. Wally: Success.
Wednesday October 31,
2012
Tags costumes, halloween, angry cat, lederhosen, switched identity, joke, boss, hatred, holiday
Transcript
Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.


