New Product Comic Strips - Page 80

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Product

View 791 - 800 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags over head storage, anxiety, doesn't fit, baggae, luggae, army on, above seat, iowa, airplane

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vp of marketing, new version of prodcut, testamnet, customers, new version, raw data, customers hate us

View Transcript

Transcript

As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation., new cubicle, less roomy, need butter, torso, slide in, attracts rats, cheap, low budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation, cubicle, air duct, facilities, chip out penguin, cold, cooler

View Transcript

Transcript

"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation project, lie, no phone service, new jobs, look for new jobs, not going well

View Transcript

Transcript

"The office relocation project is proceeding without any problems whatsoever." "GAAA!!! IT'S A LIE!!! OUR POSSESSIONS WILL BE LOST AND WE WILL HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE!!!" "I don't mean to worry anyone, but you should look for new jobs right away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired wife, mean, condescending, slave driver, obnoxious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired my wife to be our new receptionist." Boss: "I foresee no problems whatsoever." Wife: "Hey, Dipweed!" "Go buy me a bagel and a cappuccino." "Then wash my car and fill the gas tank." "NOW DANCE FOR ME, LITTLE MAN! HA HA! DANCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!!" "How may I help you? Have a nice day!" The boss: "Stop dancing in the lobby. My wife is trying to work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, product awareness class, hands on training, next version

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I signed you up for a product awareness class. Dilbert: GAAA!!! The Boss: They'll give you hands on training Man: we're hoping to fix this problem in the next version.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering manager, graphic artist, graphics guy upset, logo, mocks him, puts down idea, thinks idea, threatned, graphics dept.

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Its totally Brilliant. Boss: I must show this to our creative department. I designed a new logo for the company, see what you can do with it. Graphics Artist: well, well, well an engineering manager becomes and artist. Apparently I wasted my time getting an masters degree in graphic arts and design. AlI I needed was a dull pencil and scrap of paper. Art is not that easy, you arrogant pile of perfectly symmetrical crud!! The Boss: what if the logo is inside a rectangle? Artist: SOB

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product training, pride in product line, users experience, painful boils, relatively satisfied customers, techniques

View Transcript

Transcript

Product Training. Man: You work for a company that takes pride in its product line. Only half of our users experience painful boils. We call that group the "relatively satisfied customers. what the?!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accidentally eat, apple core, care values, customer service, respect, stem is loyalty, teamwork, apple product

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."